Thursday, July 30, 2009

Aggressive Driving My Ass

I love the rhetoric the FHP uses to describe drivers like me. Aggressive.

Here's something I just saw a few minutes ago and applies to anyone who drives in South Florida:

FHP will be cracking down on those who tailgate, improperly change lanes or ignore traffic signals over the next two days. Troopers will also keep an eye out for drivers violating the Move Over Law or driving under the influence. http://www.justnews.com/traffic/20222628/detail.html

Wonderful. I tailgate, improperly change lanes, ignore traffic signals, and violate the Move Over Law. I do not, however, drive under the influence of alcohol. But it seems that I do drive under the influence of the stupidity of other drivers.

I tailgate behind people driving in the left lane at 65 or below who are passing NO ONE.

I am forced to improperly change lanes because slower traffic does not yield. Actually, no one yields. What is a yield, anyways? So, I am left with no other option except to pass on the right and swerve in and out of traffic if I want to get where I am going any time within the next century.

I must ignore traffic signals, because the douche-bags driving so fucking slow on the left hand lane are usually texting, half-asleep, day-dreaming, or a combination of the three, and have not noticed they have left their turn signal on for the past 5 miles. Not to mention, many people still have not discovered what a turn signal is, or what the difference is between left and right.

As for the Move Over Law. I cannot move over for stopped FHP because it is impossible to get out of the left lane when everyone around you has come to a complete stop because of this damn law. Yey to more fender-benders, pissed off motorists, and traffic stand-stills that come out of nowhere forcing you to slam your breaks and pray the driver behind you is paying attention! W00t!

Can't we enforce a SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT law, so the left lane is already mostly clear of traffic and safer for FHP and motorists who have to pull off the road? Isn't that the smarter more intelligent option?

I guess not, since Florida has no such law in place. I don't know why I am surprised.

Driving faster does not necessarily mean driving dangerously. A fast driver must pay more attention to the road. You cannot drive at 80 while being preoccupied with your phones, passengers, switching stations, reading, or putting on makeup. It's almost impossible. You are forced to pay attention at higher speeds. Going slower just means more time to comer mierda (translation= eat shit; context translation= be innatentive)!

Germany's autobahn has no set speed limit, although 80mph is recommended. They also have significantly less accidents than we do here in the states. Go figure.

So, I will continue to drive intelligently--uh--I mean aggressively. If you're cruising on the left updating your facebook status, I will cut you off so that you can appreciate the rear-end of my car and before I do that I will tail-gate your ass.